Dear Patti,

Up until a month ago I worked full time in a high-pressure situation with a lot of responsibility. I did a good job, was never late for work, always fulfilled my obligations, but really wanted to stay home, be a homemaker and start a family. With my husband’s support, I quit my job, but I now find I’m disorganized and seem to get little done. When I was working I’d imagine giving dinner parties, planting a garden and making a beautiful home. Instead, I’m disappointed in myself because I just seem to waste time. I never did that when I was employed, so I don’t understand this behavior. I’m not depressed and I don’t miss working. I just want to be more effective.

—Jennifer

Dear Jennifer,

How great to finally be able to create an amazing new life! Becoming the master of your own schedule is wonderful, but it can be daunting, too, if you’re not used to it. It’s only been a month since you left work, so you may be expecting too much too soon and not giving yourself enough time to adjust. Just because it’s a lifestyle you’ve been yearning for doesn’t mean it won’t take time to develop.

It’s also possible you’ve replaced your former boss with a new one — an internalized voice that’s judgmental and may even echo a negative voice from childhood. If so, replace this with a kind, parental authority that lovingly guides, encourages and inspires you to be the stay-at-home wife you want to be.

Remember, too, you’re not a machine whose only value is to produce a lot of work. You’re a complex human being with multiple ideas, goals and desires. Here are some ways to help yourself.

Create a Vision: Imagine your home just the way you want it. Visualize dinner parties and a beautiful garden. Does it feel like home? Go from room to room and make a list of what you see that irritates you. Imagine how you’d want your home to look if it were perfect, write it down and plan what you’d like to change.

Create a Structure: The organizational structure, rules and deadlines you had at work don’t exist at home. Absent any consequences for getting sidetracked, it’s easy for time to fly by before you know it. Successful musicians and writers embrace a self-imposed structure in order to be productive and you need to do the same. Once goals are set, create a system that prevents sabotaging the schedule; e.g., never leave home until all your daily chores are finished. Obey two absolute rules every morning: (1) Before anything else gets done, wash up, get dressed and be ready to face the world; (2) Always take 20 minutes to plan and prioritize your day.

De-clutter: Did things at home pile up while you were in the workforce, and you’re now overwhelmed by where to start? Do it a little at a time. Pick up a copy of Peter Walsh’s “It’s All Too Much Workbook”; it’s full of helpful hints for conquering chaos.

Maintenance: Once you get the house organized the way you want it, create daily, weekly, monthly and seasonal “To Do” lists. Good habits take time to establish, but if you’re conscientious about sticking to the “agenda” you create (laundry every Monday, etc.) chores will become second nature.

You’re CEO of your own life now, Jennifer, but it’s important not to let yourself get lonely. No matter how busy you are, take time for relationships you care about and don’t be shy in asking for help. Create a community with others; bake pies together, walk your dogs, or weed each other’s gardens. Intersperse creative, satisfying projects with necessary chores and learn to be a great boss to yourself.