Dear Patti,

I’ve had a variation of the same dream over and over for several years and am curious as to what it means.
Recently I dreamed I saw in my backyard a large, strong birdcage. Inside is a neglected, starved baby monkey about a year old. I feel terrible he’s locked up and that I never fed him or held him in my arms.

A dream about a year ago:
There are many birdcages filled with canaries and parakeets. The birds are locked up, unable to fly and they haven’t had any birdseed for a couple of days.
What do these dreams mean?
— Catherine

Dear Catherine,

Recurring dreams are thought to be the unconscious mind’s way of saying “Pay attention! This is important!” Dreams that seem extremely real or intense, that wake you up, or that involve repetitive themes are trying to communicate something; once you comprehend a dream’s message, you’ll probably stop having it.

A dream’s content can be viewed symbolically (where each part represents a part of you) or literally (where the people and situations represent real-life counterparts). Since you probably don’t have actual caged monkeys or birds, let’s look at these dreams symbolically. For instance, what happened in your life a year ago? The first dream suggests that a primal, animal part of you was born and — instead of nurturing and loving it — you pushed it into the “backyard,” refusing to give it attention. Your unconscious is urging you to face whatever has been put aside and is starving. The baby monkey could represent a relationship that brings alive a certain untamed animal in you or a hidden talent like dancing or singing that started to emerge and was then ignored; it’s crucial to properly tend to this aspect of your personality so it can thrive.

Likewise, your second dream is calling you to face all the little parts of you that you lock up, don’t feed and don’t allow you to be free and “fly.” This could represent multiple aspects of you or possibly multiple interactions you suppress or “cage up.” As you reflect on your past, do you see a pattern of neglecting and starving vital relationships (including a relationship with yourself)? Your dream is encouraging you to change now, so that when you’re 90 you won’t look back with deep regrets.

Dear Patti,

I’m a married, heterosexual woman and last night I had a bizarre dream that I was making love to another woman. The woman reminded me of an artist my husband and I met at a party. While I think she’s attractive, I’m truly not sexually attracted to her. Why did I dream this? It seemed so real.
— Becky

Dear Catherine,

if the dream doesn’t have strong meaning to you literally, let’s look at it symbolically. What about the female embodiment, in general, do you want to “make love” with? What is it about this specific woman that you want to “unite” with? The artist in her? The female or feminine part? Her assertiveness? Her intelligence? Possibly you’re desiring to be “in bed” with something that’s inherently female — and possibly a trait exhibited by this particular artist.